National Collective Banned From Using Pound Sterling

The fundraising campaign of pro-independence group National Collective has been thrown into disarray after the UK government announced a crack down on the use of pound sterling. 

National Collective recently launched a ‘crowd sourced’ campaign aiming to use the strength of the grass-roots independence movement to raise funds for a series of cultural projects. However, today the UK government aims to throttle this plan by removing their right to exchange pound sterling.

According a press release leaked from a bath in Chequers, in future all public organisations must seek the approval of the Palace of Westminster to use the pound. Any dissidents who refuse to confess that ultimate sovereignty rests in the Palace will be subject to a Wikileaks style cyber-blockage and potential imprisonment in the Tower of London. It is unclear how this escalation will impact the functions of Yes Scotland – which believes that decisions about Scotland’s future are best taken by the people of Scotland.

However, this move was predicted by commentators who have highlighted the increasingly aggressive tactics of the no campaign. A year ago George Osborne threatened to remove all pounds from Scotland in the event of a ‘Yes’ vote in 2014, including seizing loose change from sofas. Recently, Better Together began a purge of YouTube, removing material offensive to the Cameron regime. The currency ban also coincides with today’s Westminster social security cuts that hit the poor and disabled the hardest, while giving the cabinet a tax cut for all their hard work.

Indeed this proposal to tighten currency controls may lead to some of the same practical chaos that looks set to engulf the dreaded ‘Bedroom Tax’ and NHS deforms. The National Collective team have hit back and interjected some seriously non-satirical content into the debate on currency:

In evidence completely missing from the mainstream media, and even Yes Scotland press statements, it turns out that according to the International Monetary Fund, $245.8 billion of pound sterling is held in global foreign exchange holdings (Source: Currency Composition of Official Foreign Exchange Reserves, IMF Figures 2013).

Downing Street spin doctors have described this $245 billion pound sterling as “missing change” that will be tracked down by Osborne’s team of death-eaters. Passers-by have called it “clear evidence that pound sterling is freely traded across the world with the consent of the Bank of England.” Such dissent has been removed from subsequent media reporting on the groups of national security.

This hitch is yet to prompt a U-turn from Westminster officials, who have pointed out that several U-turns may leave them heading in the same direction of economic oblivion. Instead Westminster figures of both parties – MPs and Lords – demonstrate a hardening attitude towards Scotland. Unmoved on austerity, wars, trident, inequality, privitisation, arms deals, asylum policy and tax havens, the UK government now wishes to maintain an absolute monopoly on the pound – which shall include imposing restrictions upon the board game Monopoly.

National Collective are calling for public unity to beat to blockade and donating today, April 1st, to fund the artist and creatives campaign for an independent Scotland ‘here’.

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About Michael Gray

Michael studies politics at the University of Glasgow. He admires creativity, optimism and education. He desires peace, social justice and good parties.

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